17: Obstacle, Friction, Evaluation, Recognition, Decision

23:59 Mon 18 Sep 2006
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Shara was in my way.

Angered by what went wrong in Shawch, particularly having to leave her ship behind, she was clearly wavering between letting me go and taking me back. She was also very determined to make sure I couldn’t escape before fulfilling my side of the bargain. I had thought that since we were now both on the run, she would have more trust, but she didn’t see it that way.

And so I stood in the shower, facing away from her, while she used the toilet and simultaneously kept her gun on me. On a ship I owned and had personally outfitted, no less. I was seething, especially since I felt that all of this nonsense made us much more likely to be captured by Redmane.

I was sure I could take her. Lethal force was the only viable option, there were too many variables otherwise. They woud disappear if I eliminated her entirely.

I suddenly felt very afraid. At first I thought it was at the risk of her shooting me, but it wasn’t. I was afraid of being alone if she were dead.

I inwardly shook my head. I’d been alone before, and survived. I wouldn’t be alone for long. And I had been responsible for many deaths (indirectly, thousands) before, for far smaller reasons.

The feeling persisted. She was currently, for better or worse, the entire rest of the human race in my universe. I couldn’t wipe out the rest of the human race to smooth my way.

That there was little difference between her and the many others from before her seemed a horrible indictment, and not a reason to get rid of her.

Relaxing, I realized that if I wanted to escape from Redmane, it would have to be without killing Shara.

(300 words)

The above is part of a series of microfiction pieces.

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