AFBH 32: Pages 413-416

23:13 Wed 01 Nov 2006. Updated: 01:18 02 Nov 2006
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Episode 32. Sentries.

What Heatherly and Julie watch on television, and getting… closer… to… the… catacombs…

###Pages 413-416.
Starts with “‘Warrenbridge lies ahead’” (p413), ends with “‘This is not right’” (p416).

Diana Mars


The episode begins with Heatherly excitedly telling Julie to watch “Karotica’s new show”. We see a television with Karotica moving stiffly from side to side on it. Julie says “I hate this show” (2:00).

We see yellow curtains and the title text “Karotica’s Nutritional Era”. Karotica pokes her head out from behind the curtains and then bursts out onto the stage. Heatherly dances along in bed while Julie looks unimpressed. Karotica performs a song apparently titled “Fiberzone” to the tune of “Danger Zone”. Karotica then switches to a song apparently titled “Move, bitch, get off the couch” to the tune of Move Bitch. Julie is enthusiastic about this one, while Heatherly is not.

We then see crolling text informing us that they totally forgot to introduce the episode, and then going through the usual spiel (03:38).

###Analysis of Pages

Heatherly recaps by saying that they were about to enter the catacombs, and Birinair was leading the way with his puny staff.

She says that one of the Bloodguard reports that the entrance to the catacombs lies ahead, that there are sentries, and that Prothall asks if they can approach. She relates that they can approach to within in bow range, and that the Lords are surprised that there are only two sentries, but the Bloodguard shrug this off.

She says that Prothall gets the party together and tells them to take no risk without his order. Then she mocks him for warning them that he feels there is peril near (04:40).

Heatherly says that the book describes “the lay of the land”, and that there’s rocks, they even get on a ledge at one point, there’s a sheer stone wall and even a chasm. Julie says she likes chasms (04:57). Heatherly says there’s also this “huge boulder sitting like a door ajar before the entrance to an immense chamber” (p415) (05:04).

Heatherly reads Mhoram’s whisper to Covenant that there are only two, and Prothall’s concern at why Drool is using ur-viles rather than Cavewights on such a task as guarding a doorway. Heatherly says that Covenant wasn’t really listening to him because his ring was glowing and itchy.

She describes the party preparing for the attempt to kill the ur-vile sentries with arrows, and that the ur-viles are killed by the attack (06:07). She says that the party is happy about this, but that Prothall is certain that the danger has not passed.

She says that Covenant is uneasy, and Prothall asks him what he sees. Heatherly says Covenant is irritated and replies that he sees power, that Drool has enough of it to make the Lords look silly. Then she says “once again, they were off, towards the entrance to the catacombs” (06:50).

Heatherly says the most confusing thing about the passage is the bottom of page 415, where Prothall says “make the attempt. We can only fail” (07:13). JJulie says that Prothall is a killjoy, and that that’s his attempt at a motivational speech, which is a really sucky one. She also criticizes Prothall for damping the party’s happiness at killing the ur-viles because he senses more danger. Julie then criticizes Prothall for dismissing Covenant for saying that Drool’s power makes them look silly.

The company reaches a guarded doorway across a stone bridge, inside Mount Thunder (p413). Two sentries guard it, and the group is suspicious at this low number. The Eoman prepare to eliminate them by bowshot. Prothall is also concerned when he see that they guards are ur-viles, as he cannot understand why ur-viles rather than Cavewights would be on guard duty (p415). Prothall orders the attack to go ahead, and it is successful (p416).

Prothall warns the party against lowering their guard, still convinced that there is further danger. He asks Covenant what he sees, and Covenant says that he sees that Drool has power, enough power to make them look silly. Covenant then raises his ring, tinged with red, and says that it’s daylight outside—meaning that his ring, usually red in conjunction with the red moon, is red for some other reason. Prothall is deeply concerned, but cannot discern what the danger is.

###Key Misunderstandings

The redness of Covenant’s ring is significant because previously it’s been red at night, due to the moon. Here, it is red during the daytime.

###Action Sequence

The Fantasy Action Sequence begins at 08:05.

It begins with the following scrolling text (08:42):

> pg. 411
> “Terril [sic] and Korik took
> scouting positions.
> And after them went
> Prothal [sic] and Mormon [sic].
> Followed singly by
> Manethrall Lilith [sic],
> Covenant and Bannor.
> Next marched Quann [sic]
> with his Eoman.
> Leaving the last
> Bloodguard
> to bring up the rear.
> Shortly however
> Beerandair [sic] halted.
> Covenant, Lilith [sic] and
> the Lords quickly
> joind the old
> Hirebrand.

We then see “Lord Mormon” and Bannor looking over a ledge. Bannor says “Warrenbridge lies ahead. Korik watches. There are sentries.” and see see two ur-viles below.

Prothall says “shit! Shit! Shit!”, Birinair calls him a fool, Covenant says “fuck! Why is it only raining on me, and Prothall, and Birinair?” (09:02). “Lord Mormon” says he doesn’t know. Then he asks how many. Bannor says two. Prothall says “shit! Shit Shit!”, and “Mormon” says “by the Seven! Ur-viles. But why not Cavewights?”—to which Covenant asks “what’s the difference?” (09:23). “Mormon” says he doesn’t know.

We see the following scrolling text (09:32) as Covenant complains about the itching of his ring:

> pg. 416
> “He raised his
> left fist.
> His ring burned
> blood red.”

Covenant then complains that his ring is sterling silver, that he should have known it wasn’t white gold, and appears to throw it away. “Mormon” tells him to be still, that it has the power of white gold in this Land. Covenant protests that it’s turning his finger green, and “Mormon” tells him to be still again.

Prothall says “Okay everybody, I have something to say. Just be… very… very… very careful” (10:09). Birinair calls him a fool again.

We see the following scrolling text (10:16):

> pg. 416
> “Without a word
> Korick [sic] nodded up
> at Terrel.
> Together,
> two bowstrings
> thrummed flatly.”

We then see the ur-viles looking around, and Korik or Terrel skulking in bushes with a bow. He takes out one of the ur-viles, at which point the other one tries to help it and is taken out shortly thereafter. Covenant says “sweet! They totally killed the ur-viles… who are they again?” (10:41) “Mormon” replies that they are Terrel and Korik. Covenant starts complaining about his ring again, and Prothall asks him what he sees. Covenant says “Drool! He’s got enough power to kick all our asses!”, to which “Mormon” says “well duh!”, and Prothall says “shit! Shit! Shit!”. “Mormon” says “I miss Foamfollower” (11:02).

The Fantasy Action Sequence ends at 11:04.


The expert is Diana Mars, who appears on screen at 11:25. She is wearing the expert jacket. She has read Lord Foul’s Bane an indeterminate amount of times greater than one (11:49), having started it in eighth grade and having probably read it once a year since then. Julie and Heatherly persuade her to take her top off, and she reveals (under a black top that was under the blue top) a ping bra with a “Heatherly” ribbon on the right side and a “Julie” ribbon on the right side (12:32). They don’t ask her how many times she’s understood Lord Foul’s Bane. They do find out that she is an artist and a scientist.

Heatherly says “so there’s Cavewights, guarding the entrance to the cave”—in fact they’re ur-viles—”so then, are ur-viles like fancier than Cavewights, because I guess Prothall kept going on an on about ‘why Cavewights? Why Cavewights?’ so, yeah, are ur-viles, like, fancier?” (13:21). Diana says that ur-viles have more power (meaning Earthpower), and that if they have more power, it means something that they’re guarding it and not the other guys. Julie asks “is it a trap?” (13:52) and Diana says it’s unusual and may indicate a trap.

Heatherly then says “if there are Cavewights guarding the entrance, and Cavewights are not as powerful as ur-viles, then maybe the Cavewights are like the expendable crewmembers from Star Trek.” (14:15) Heatherly is referring to the theory mooted in Episode 31 that Terrel and Korik are the redshirts of the party. Also, she is still confused about who’s guarding the entrance (ur-viles). Julie asks why they’d put the weaker things guarding the only entrance. Diana says they’re not the only thing guarding the entrance, and tells them that they’re assuming that the only thing guarding the entrance is going to be a creature, a person.

Julie asks if Drool is like a king (14:55). Diana says that he’s the head of the Cavewights. Julie asks why he’s controlling the ur-viles too, and Diana says that now they’re confusing her, and she’s read the book many times. Heatherly says “Drool is a Cavewight, true or false?” (15:11). Diana says he’s a Cavewight, and points out that they’re not completely stupid, that Drool did figure out how to get Covenant to the Land using the Staff of Law. Julie then asks why Drool would want to get Thomas Covenant to the Land if Covenant’s main purpose is to steal the Staff of Law from him. Diana gestures with her necklace and says “the white gold”. Julie says “what about the white gold, he wants it?” and Diana says “yes, that’s the most amount of Earthpower incarnate you’re going to get into contact and totally channels the power” (15:50). Julie says that he’s going to be disappointed, as she and Heatherly have figured out that the ring is actually cheap silver, because it keeps hurting his finger.

Julie asks what would happen if Drool got the white gold ring (16:58). Diana says that he would have a lot of power, more power than he would be able to handle. Julie asks what kind of power, whether it would be magical, and Diana says says, and that it would be Earthpower. Julie asks if it would be similar to Darth Vader’s force power (specifically the choking-at-a-distance ability). Diana says yes, but that it sounds more powerful than the force.

Heatherly asks if Thomas Covenant’s ring is evil (17:46). Diana says no, that the ring is an object that can channel the Earthpower, somehow make it available. Heatherly asks if it conducts magic because it’s mettal and metal “conducts energy and stuff”. Diana says “that’s right!” and makes a comment about it being based on the electrons in the metal.

Julie asks for an example of an Earthpower-equivalent in our world, and asks what Earthpower is (18:22). Diana says that she’s not sure that there’s an equivalent, but points to the amazing power of natural processes. They ask about what kind of magic it is, citing Galdalf and Harry Potter as possible options. Diana says that those are two different sorts of magic, and the magic in the Land is different from both of those. Julie says that the Earthpower magic sucks because she hasn’t seen it do anything except make some fire once, but Heatherly cites the example of the stone lions, and Julie says “that rules!” (19:31). Julie says that might have been a “historical event” that you can’t prove or disprove, that it’s a mythical story. Diana brings up aliantha, but Julie remains unimpressed, and Cameraman Jenn suggests Trell mending the pot, but Julie calls that “a stupid fucking power” (20:18). Diana objects, and Julie says “how are you going to, like, defeat me with pot-mending?” Diana says that she doesn’t think that Trell is concerned with beating her, that Trell is part of a peaceful people. Julie says “so you think that Drool might not actually have a physical power, but the ur-viles and Cavewights are awed by the fact that he can maybe mend a pot?” Diana replies that she doesn’t think Drool is going to bother with mending pots.

Julie asks what rocklight is (20:57). Diana explains that it’s not like “light rock” but rather a rock that is glowing, and that it doesn’t strobe but might have a slight pulse.

Julie refers to Covenant’s comment to Prothall (p416) that Drool’s got enough power to “make you look silly”, and says that’s not a lot of power because it’s really easy to make Prothall look silly (21:55). Diana says that Prothall is a regal character, despite the fact that Heatherly and Julie haven’t been making him look that way. Julie asks if “regal” means “incompetent” in the Land.

Heatherly asks how much power it takes to make Prothall look silly (22:15). Julie says that Birinair has enough power to make Prothall look silly, so it’s not very much power.

Julie says “so it’s not the power to actually make Prothall look just silly in front of his friends, it’s actually the power to make him look silly because he’ll be dead?” and Diana says yes.

Heatherly says that for her next question she’d like to read Diana a passage on page 415. She reads the description of the chasm and the river, and says that her questions is: “what?” (23:21). Julie suggests that this would be a good idea for chart-writing.

Chart-writing begins at 24:07, on the topic “what did the entrance to the Wightwarren look like?”

Chart-writing ends at 24:44.

Julie’s chart (24:55) shows a map with the river looping around on itself. It includes the “Pac Bell” office and two Cavewights guarding the entrance.

Heatherly’s chart (25:20) shows the river changing direction oddly, includes a duck and fish in the river, the Bloodguard scouts, Covenant, and Birinair, and has the river flowing past the boulder that is partly covering the entranceway. Behind the boulder are two ur-viles, oddly represented as fluffy round heads with antennae.

Diana’s chart (25:49) shows an impressively weel-drawn sketch of the party walking down a lede into a cavern mouth, with the river to their left and a rock wall to their right.

The “post-coital” segment starts at 26:38.

Heatherly’s favorite part was when they finally got to the cave entrance (26:55).

Julie’s favorite part was when Diana took off her shirt and had their names on her boobs (27:02).

Diana’s favorite part was Covenant’s ring throbbing red as a constant reminder that he can’t get away from it. (27:25). Heatherly says she wants to change hers to the throbbing ring too, but Julie says that she can’t change her answer.

The end credits include clips from Karotica’s show.

After the end credits, there is a still shot of a statue, with the words “Fantasy Bedtime Hour Productions” to the left of the statue, with a voiceover of Heatherly saying “Oh my god!” and Julie saying “I know! That’s hot!”. The statue is from Powerscourt Gardens in Enniskerry, County Wicklow, Ireland.

###Words Defined

First appearance of the rasterbated image of Berek as the backdrop for the show.
First mention of “Karotica’s Nutritional Era”, 02:00

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