Episode 28. Gay stories.
Foamfollower’s camp stories, and a geography lesson.
Starts with “They crossed the Plains northward” (p390), ends with “Covenant sought release from the impossibility of his dreams”. (p396)
The episode begins with Julie holding her alarm clock. Heatherly is sleeping. The alarm clock goes off (02:00) and Julie drops it, and Heatherly wakes up, startled. Julie tells Heatherly that it’s her birthday, and produces two glasses. They wish Julie Happy Birthday, and drink, and then Heatherly tells her that they got her some presents. Julie reads the card, which says “Happy Birthday Julie, Love Cameraman Jenn. P.S. You are my favorite” (02:52). Heatherly looks nonplussed at this. Julie opens her present (02:57), which is a hardcover edition of Lord Foul’s Bane. Julie asks “is this the Bible”, and Cameraman Jenn replies “pretty much” (03:06). Julie looks at the inscription, which reads “To Julie, parodist extraordinaire and heartbreaker to millions—Steven R Donaldson” (03:27). Julie says that’s amazing, and then asks “what’s a parodist?” (03:38).
We then see Julie in a kind of Hindu praying pose, with her palms together pointing upwards in front of her chest. Another pair of arms emerging from behind her hold a copy of Lord Foul’s Bane (red/white trade paperback edition) in the left hand and a can of beer in the right hand. While making ritualistic gestures and affecting an Indian accent, Julie introduces the episode with the usual spiel. At the end of the spiel, the extra pair of hands grab Julie’s breasts, at which she protests and turns around, revealing that the extra pair of hands do shockingly belong to Heatherly (04:09).
###Analysis of Pages
Heatherly starts by saying that they last left the questers when they had “ditched Pietten” and were ready to go on the quest (04:26).
She says that they croos the Plains without incident, and Foamfollower told gay tales (04:34).
After skimming over the route of the company, Heatherly reads four lines of their song about Berek Halfhand (05:21) and then says that they set up camp.
Heatherly then describes the change in the weather they encounter, saying “there was lightning, and thunder, and lots of metaphors to describe the lightning and thunder” (05:53). She says that they went on for two days, and that “Mormon” tries to shout through the storm that Drool is responsible for it.
She continues by describing their exit from the storm and their sighting of Mount Thunder, where they pause to consider it, and where “Covenant sought release from the impossibility of his dreams” (p396), which is where Heatherly ends the reading.
Julie asks which direction the quest are facing (07:03), and Heatherly says she isn’t sure. They talk about how the quest might have gotten turned around, and Julie asks who’s in charge of it. Heatherly says that she thinks it’s supposed to be Prothall, but that she has a theory that it’s actually “Mormon” (07:37). Julie asks if that means that he’s like Dick Cheney, and Heatherly says yes, something like that.
The company depart from Manhome, and the Ramen wish them well, and especially wish them well in killing Fanthane (their term for Lord Foul)—which is not the point of their quest (p390).
As they travel, Mhoram tells some of the history of the surrounding area to Covenant, specifically covering their surroundings and the area around Foul’s Creche, where many times Foul’s opponents would seek to keep his forces cooped up below them at Landsdrop. Apparently in every previous battle, Foul won through due to the number of different paths up, and from Mhoram’s description it appears that Foul tended to have a significant numerical advantage (p391). In the last war, prior to the Desecration, Foul broke through again and then forced the Lords into a final battle at Trothgard (p392).
The company sing a song of Berek to comfort themselves in the presence of so much bad history, and they make camp on Landsdrop. After they leave the next morning, Mhoram tells Covenant of myhts that claim that the cliff at Landsrop was formed by the earth heaving at the banes under Mount Thunder. He also tells him that the breach between the upper and lower Land stretches for at least five hundred leagues north (p393).
A few hours later, they are assaulted by a terrible storm, one that seems to follow them. Mhoram shouts to Covenant that the storm was the doing of Drool Rockworm, and that Drool has made a mistake and has sent out a force, which augurs well for the company (p395).
After they get through the storm, they come within sight of Mount Thunder (p396).
The company is not lost, or turned around, or unsure about what direction they should be going.
Prothall is leading the quest, and is not a puppet for Mhoram.
The Fantasy Action Sequence begins at 07:51.
It opens with a compass. We see “Lord Mormon” holding it, and trying to lead the company according to what the compass tells him. The company follows him, changing direction quite a few times in a frenetic “wandering” sequence. This ends at 08:36.
“Mormon” announces that they’re going to set up camp. The brown and orange “Ranyhyn” jumps up and down cheering, and the rest of the party turn around and stare (08:49).
While they’re sitting in camp, Covenant complains that he’s bored (08:57). Foamfollower suggests a story, at which the rest of the group cheer.
Foamfollower reads from Stud-Ranch Slave, described on its back cover as being part of the “Manhard Series” (09:08). As Foamfollower reads, Covenant looks disturbed, as does “Mormon”, and apparently the rest of the company. Oblivious to these reactions, Foamfollower reads with great enthusiasm.
“Mormon” interrupts him (10:36), saying “Foamfollower, thank you for your gay stories, we all appreciate it. Bloodguard Bob, how about some music?” (10:44). “Bloodguard Bob” picks up a guitar and says “this one goes out to the poor folks at Flaming Woodhelven” (10:50), and proceeds to sing.
He sings a slightly adapted version of the song of Berek from p392, and the rest of the company echo his words. The song ends at 11:32 and we see the following scrolling text:
> pg. 393 [the passage is actually on page 392] (11:39):
> “The atmosphere
> of the region
> agitated Foamfollower.
> …he talked
> incessantly with
> a constant stream
> of stories…
> At first, his
> efforts pleased
> the riders…”
After this, we see Foamfollower talking to Covenant as they walk about a very small man he knew in college. At 12:06 is a “3 hours later…” intertitle, after which Foamfollower is saying ‘blah blah blah and the problem is” and is apparently talking about pets. There is a “6 hours later…” intertitle (12:42), after which Foamfollower is talking about the composition of his tunic.
Covenant asks “Mormon” to tell him about the great cliff (13:14) and “Mormon” does so. His speech, concerning the origins of Landsdrop, is cut so that there is some repetition in it, but it retains the basic idea that the breah between the upper and lower Land is due to the banes underneath Mount Thunder.
We see the following scrolling text (14:11):
> pg. 394
> “Before noon
> the weather changed…
> Then rain struck…
> like a paroxysm
> of rage.”
This is followed by “Lord Mormon” being rained on and trying to get across that Drool has sent the storm and that in fact it’s good news for the quest, and ends with “Behold, Mount Thunder!” (14:38).
The Fantasy Action Sequence ends at 14:42
After the action sequence, Heatherly asks Julie why their glasses are empty. Julie claps her hands and says “Cameraman Jenn? Glasses” (14:51), but Cameraman Jenn is uncooperative.
The expert is Douglas, who appears on screen at 14:59. He is wearing the expert jacket. He is a physicist (15:19). Julie asks why he thinks this is, and he suggests that it’s just the fantasy aspect (15:33).
He has read Lord Foul’s Bane four or five times (15:41). He says that he probably understood it four or five times (15:50).
He brought gifts, the first being a bottle of wine that he gives to Heatherly (16:12). He also brought chocolate (16:23).
Heatherly asks why the chapter is called “Treacher’s Gorge” (17:13). He says that a gorge is a mouth-like opening, and that Treacher’s Gorge is the opening into Mount Thunder.
Julie asks how they know that Drool is in the catacombs. Douglas replies that that’s where Foul told them to find him.
Julie asks how Drool got both the Staff of Law and the Illearth Stone (18:13), and Douglas says that Foul guided him. When Julie asks why Fould would do this, Douglas says that Foul can’t use the Staff of Law himself.
Julie asks if Lord Foul, being evil, would want Drool to rule the Earth. Douglas says no, that Fould is servous that Drool might gain too much power with both Staff and Stone. Julie asks why Foul told him where to get them, if he fears Drool’s power, and Douglas says that Foul then encourages the Lords to take the Staff away. Julie asks why he didn’t just tell the Lords where the Staff was, and Douglas says that’s a good question (19:17).
Heatherly asks what kind of gay stories Foamfollower was telling (19:40). Douglas says he isn’t sure, and that he wonders why Foamfollower always leaves home, and wonders where the other Giants are.
Julie asks what it means for Covennt to hope for the impossibility of his dreams, mangling the line “Covenant sought release from the impossibility of his dreams” (p396). Douglas says that Covenant is hoping that he can go once they find the Staff of Law.
Heatherly wants to know why “Mormon can’t speak in complete sentences” during the storm (20:40). Douglas points out that the suggestion there is that the storm is so loud that he couldn’t be heard.
Heatherly asks which direction the company are heading now (21:09). Douglas say that they headed north, then east, the north again, which impresses Julie a great deal. She asks what “Drool would crouch like a bane in the Catacombs” means. Douglas says that a bane is a concentrated source of evil that was put in the Land by Lord Foul during the formation of the Land.
Chart-writing begins at 22:02 on the topic of “Map out the route the questers have taken so far.”
(Douglas draws with his left hand.)
Chart-writing ends at 22:36.
Julie’s chart (22:48) shows the quest starting at “Pac Bell”, meeting the man in the ochre robe, falling into the “precipice of his future”, meets Lord Foul, crawls on to Kevin’s watch, ends up with the Stonedownors, goes to Flaming Woodhelven, goes to the Council of the Lords, then to Manhome, and then to some Gorge, which is represented as a grinning mouth with teeth..
Heatherly’s chart (23:20) shows a sequence of Covenant’s home, downtown, Kevin’s Watch, the Stowndownors, Flaming Woodhelven, the Mithil River, a dead Waynhim, the Council of the Lords, the Ramen, and Mount Thunder.
Douglas point out that their topic is on quest, not Covenant. His chart (24:04) shows Revelstone, Flaming Woodhelven, Andelain, Manhome and the Plains of Ra, and Mount Thunder. And a red moon.. His chart has a “now here” X on it.
The “post-coital” segment begins at 25:52. Dougls has let his hair down.
Heatherly’s favorite part was Covenant refusing to go anywhere near the edge (presumably meaning Landsdrop) (26:29).
Julie’s favorite part was “when Drool was crouching like a bane in the catacombs” (26:37).
Douglas’ favorite part was the first view of Mount Thunder (26:46).
The end credits include out-takes of Foamfollower trying to read from Stud-Ranch Slave but not being able to keep from laughing.
After the credits, there is a still shot of a statue, with the words “Fantasy Bedtime Hour Productions” to the left of the statue, with a voiceover of Heatherly saying “Oh my god!” and Julie saying “I know! That’s hot!”. The statue is from Powerscourt Gardens in Enniskerry, County Wicklow, Ireland.
Bane: Something that ruins or destroys, usually with poisonous or ill-fated overtones. Douglas describes it as “concentrated evil”.
First appearance of Stud-Ranch Slave, 09:08