AFBH 15: 3rd Compilation Episode

23:10 Sun 15 Oct 2006. Updated: 13:09 19 Oct 2006
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Episode 15. Third compilation episode

Covering Episodes 12, 13, and 14, I try to correct their misapprehensions. With picture-in-picture—and an appalling mistake by me.

As this is a compilation episode, it doesn’t cover pages per se.

Tadhg O’Higgins


Julie starts a typical intro, holding up the tattered copy of Lord Foul’s Bane, this time noticing that it doesn’t have a front cover and so holding it sideways and pointing to the title (02:10). The phone rings a moment later. They answer it, and it’s me, and onscreen text describes me as “Tadhg O’Higgins: Resident Expert in Lord Foul’s Bane” (02:25). As in Episode 10, I tell them that I’m not impressed with their recent episodes, and that I’m particularly unimpressed with the experts that they have on. Heatherly asks Julie why I’m being such an asshole (02:54), and Julie says she doesn’t know. Julie asks me what I’m getting at, and I say “I’m getting at the fact that your expert quality has been terrible over the last few episodes” (03:06). Heatherly asks me what I’m going to do about it, and I say I’ll have to come over and set them right. They agree, and Julie asks me to bring cake—and hangs up (03:28).

Or thinks she does… she tells Heatherly that it’s great that the Resident Expert is coming over, and I (still on the phone) correct her by saying “That’s ‘Supreme Expert’” (03:38), at which point she hangs up on me (or thinks she does). Then she again annouces that “an expert, Tadhg O’Higgins is coming over, at which point I say “It’s still ‘Supreme Expert’” (03:44). Julie says “Why won’t you die?” and finally manages to actually hang up. She then announces “Supreme Expert in Lord Foul’s Bane, Tadhg O’Higgins coming over for Episode 15 to set us straight in Lord Foul’s Bane” (04:00).

###Key Misunderstandings

Ranyhyn = horses. Ramen = people.

###Analysis of Pages

There is no reading or analysis of specific pages in this episode.


Tadhg O’Higgins. I appear at 04:03. I am wearing the expert jacket. Julie asks again how many times I’ve read the book, and I say “about five”, and she condescendingly says “that’s still a good amount” (04:15)—a reference to an earlier exchange about other experts claiming to have read it far more times.

I tell them that I have a gift, which is not cake, and that having seen that they treat the book with about as much respect physically as they treat it creatively, I am giving them a new copy (04:32). It is a new version of the same (US 1997) printing that they had previously. They thank me, and Julie throws away their old copy (04:36).

Heatherly reads my inscription: “Julie and Heatherly, ‘you cannot hope’, Tadhg” (04:50), which I call an apt quotation from the novel, and Julie tells Heatherly “that is so true” (04:58).

We start to go through the action sequences, and Julie introduces the action sequence from Episode 12 as when we first meet Darth Maul and Gandalf. I say, “neither of whom are in the book” (05:21), but Julie isn’t convinced and says that we should watch the action sequence.

###Action Sequence 1

The Episode 12 Action Sequence runs from 05:28 to 11:30. See AFBH 12 for notes.

There are picture-in-picture segments, which I detail below.

I say at 05:42 that while Atiaran and Covenant began their day at a lope (p157), they didn’t go all the way to the Wraiths at a lope.

At 06:45 I say that them reaching Andelain in time to see the dance of the Wraiths is relatively accurate.

At 07:05, when Covenant and “Atrium” are tripping, I say: “Of course, the dance of the Wraiths as some kind of Seventies psychedelic trip is not exactly how I would read it in the book.”

At 07:29 I say: “Atiaran does not get high, either.”

At 08:03, when the ur-viles arrive, I say: “Yes, and here we have ‘Darth Maul’ somehow appearaing as the leader of the ur-viles. It’s not Darth Maul. Darth Maul is not in the book.”

At 09:54, then Covenant fights the leader of the ur-viles, I say: “And this doesn’t happen in the book. There’s no extended martial arts battle between the leader of the ur-viles and Thomas Covenant. What happens is that the leader of the ur-viles extinguishes the flame that Covenant creates, essentially by force of will.”

At 10:27, when the Unfettered One arrives, I say: “And this, to say the least, is a creative interpretation of the Unfettered One, who does not speak Hawaiian, and the words he says are melenkurion abatha, which in the Land are words which have great power on the side of good, and that is why they cause the ur-viles to hesitate.” (Either my comments about his throwing stuffed animals were edited out or I bizarrely declined to discuss that. Also, I should have pointed out that the Unfettered One does not speak Spanish, either.)

At 11:02, when the Unfettered One is telling “Atrium” to flee, I say: “As Covenant and Atiaran leave, they escape but they hear the dying scream of the Unfettered One as they go into the distance—and he does not throw chickens at anyone.”


The Episode 12 Action Sequence is followed by Heatherly saying, “but it was Darth Maul” (11:32). She and I go back and forth on this until Cameraman Jenn tells her we’re rolling (11:42). She explains that we’ve just seen Episode 12, with Darth Maul, and I tell her again that it wasn’t Darth Maul, that Darth Maul isn’t in the book, and isn’t in any of the sequels.

Heatherly summarizes Episode 14′s action sequence, and asks me if “Atrium” is gone for good. I say, “yes” (12:13).

###Action Sequence 2

The Episode 13 Action Sequence runs from 12:15 to 19:28. See AFBH 13 for notes.

There are picture-in-picture segments, which I detail below.

At 12:44, when “Atrium” is castigating Covenant for not saving the Wraiths, I say: “Atiaran did think that Covenant could have saved the Wraiths, but it’s very important to note that she believes this because he had a white gold ring, the white gold ring being the token, or source, of ‘wild magic’, something that is extremely powerful in the Land, and Covenant doesn’t know how to use it.”

At 13:41, when “Atrium” and Foamfollower are exchanging “What is your name?” / “What is your need?”, I say: “While this starts out accurately enough, in the book, of course, it does not degenerate into a childish ‘what is your need/what is your name/what is your need/what is your name/what is your need/what is your name’ interplay.”

At 14:24, when “Atrium” uses “infinity” for the second time, I say: “No ‘to infinity’.”

At 14:45, when Covenant is having a tantrum at “Atrium” leaving, I say: “Covenant does not object to being left in this fashion. He’s somewhat perturbed, but not like this.”

At 15:24, during “Atrium”‘s stabbing-the-ground sequence, I say: “Atiaran in the book is much more composed at this point. She is extremely angry at Covenant but she is not rabid, and portraying her as a foaming-at-the-mouth psycho, literally, in this case, takes away a lot of the power of this sequence, I feel.”

At 16:33, during Covenant’s “flashback”, I say: “And when she leaves, he does not reminisce about their times together, but is concerned about his guilt. He still feels this terrible guilt, and he now, because she leaves, has no way to deal with it.”

At 18:23, when Covenant is raging at Foamfollower for asking if “Atrium” taught him nothing, I say: “And, Covenant does defend Atiaran, but absolutely not in the way that it’s done here. Particularly, he doesn’t say anything even vaguely like ‘she let me rape her daughter’, which is ridiculous. What he does say, in fact, is that Atiaran brought him through all the dangers they’ve encountered to this point, and he asks if Foamfollower could have done the same.”


We talk about Atiaran’s outburst, with me continuing to insist that she was not rabid or foaming at the mouth, and Julie remaining unconvinced.

Julie starts to talk about Episode 14, saying that the giant has passed out from hunger, and that Quaan has been sent from Lord’s Keep by Lord Mormon (20:17). I say “Mhoram. Lord Mhoram.” Julie ignores me and cues the start of the next action sequence.

###Action Sequence 3

The Episode 14 Action Sequence runs from 20:23 to 26:40. See AFBH 14 for notes.

There are picture-in-picture segments, which I detail below.

At 20:33, as “Delivery Boy” (and later “Framing Geisha”) are shown, I say: “There’s no ‘Delivery Boy’. There’s no ‘Delivery Boy at any point. There’s no ‘Flaming’ or ‘Framing Geisha’.”

At 20:42, as Quaan is wielding his nunchaku, I say: “Quaan, on the other hand, does exist, and I suppose this isn’t a completely off portrayal of a Warhaft, but… He’s the only one of these people who speak in the book.”

At 21:38, as Quaan is trying to help Foamfollower up, I say: “Foamfollower was exhausted by his exertions, because what really propels the boat is his own spirit.”

At 22:12, as Quaan is securing the boat, I say: “Clingor does not look like clingfilm, despite the misleading similarity in their names.”

At 22:48, as Covenant is about to pour the diamonddraught on Foamfollower, I say: “Diamondraught is a magical-potion-like substance, it’s not just some strong alcoholic beverage.”

At 23:35, after Covenant assails Foamfollower for falling asleep, I say: “In this, Covenant’s original meaning in the book is totally lost.”

At 23:41, a moment later, I say: “He’s calling Foamfollower a hero, in other words, and not castigating him for passing out all the time as suggested here.”

At 24:07, after Covenant says “…legume from the Seaweed Giants”, I say: “Okay, the word is legate, L-E-G-A-T-E, and it means representative. He’s not a legume, and his name is Saltheart Foamfollower, and it’s the Giants of Seareach, not ‘seaweed’.”

At 25:12, after Quaan (dubbed) talks about doilies and place settings, I say: “I don’t know what, or where, the doilies and the table settings and all the rest came from.”


After that action sequence is over, Heatherly and Julie return to their conviction that the Land is somewhere in Asia, and arguing about whether it’s Japan or China. I say, “they’re not Asians” (26:53).

Here (starting at 26:54), sadly, is where I make the biggest blunder of my “expert” stint. Two mistakes, really. One is to confuse the terms Ramen and Ranyhyn, thinking that the Ranyhn are the people and the Ramen are the horses. The second is to think that the Warward is composed of Ramen. So, put those two together, and in attempting to correct Heatherly and Julie from their misapprehension that Quaan is Asian I instead claim that he’s “Ranyhyn”, which is ludicrously wrong in many ways. (Furthermore, the irony that I made such a horrendous mistake as an “expert” when I’m on the show after deriding the poor quality of previous “experts” does not escape me.)

I keep making this mistake until 27:34, when the segment ends.

(Also sad is the fact that I have no idea whatsoever how I made that mistake. No clue.)

The “post-coital” sequence starts at 27:35.

There are no “favorite part” questions.

###Words Defined

First picture-in-picture analysis of action sequence, 05:42.
First confusion of Ranyhyn with Ramen (by anyone!), 26:54.

3 Responses to “AFBH 15: 3rd Compilation Episode”

  1. Cameraman Jenn Says:

    I ALMOST said something during the filming but decided to let you hang yourself…you can hate me if you want…..but you have to admit it makes for good television…..hehehehhe

  2. Julie Says:

    I seriously could not believe you were still on the phone those last 2 times…

  3. Tadhg Says:

    I know. Good times.

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