House-sharing Offer
.(On being offered a place to live in the house of some close friends.)
A very kind thing to say, and I truly appreciate it. But you say that now; I think that the awake-from-nightmare screams, the bizarre sexual practices, the constant rocket-jumping, the chanting, the insistence on playing Quake 3 against others in the house at all hours, the feverish concoction of fried PBJ sandwiches, the fearful browbeating every time someone tries to use a graphical HTML editor (or even mentions same), the gradual spread of MTG cards over the entire house and the paranoia about the Knights Templar would get to you sooner rather than later.